We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
