Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
