You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize