No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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