how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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