hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
