I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
