i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I want her autograph on my taint
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
