just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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