Jerry, you need to find god
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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