I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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