I love black thongs
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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