butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so that wasnt chicken after all
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
