you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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