you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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