Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We are all done wearing pants today
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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