tell your sister to shave her snatch
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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