DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
