Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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