I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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