come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize