did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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