so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
