i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
