Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
