I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
