why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
