Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
