It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
