I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
