piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
