in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
