Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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