God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
