Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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