I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
