after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
