remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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