Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
