We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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