I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize