Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
