I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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