is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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