Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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