i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
