i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
