We named our party play list daddy issues
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
