Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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