so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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