Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
