apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
