They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize