I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
