i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you win again, gameday.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
