would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
When are your genitals available?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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