I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
