I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
