Just mADE A PArabola og urine
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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