At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
