How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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