I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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