You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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