The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
