Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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