Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
