I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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