Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
