Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
