TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The beer is more important than you right now.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
