Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
