dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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