I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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